Concepts of good and evil

Ok, well I have been doing research on the novel / book  thingie I want to write, eventually, at some point, once I am done procrastinating ( If you want to know more about the story  me a message or click here 😛 ) … but back to the subject on hand.

The concept of good and evil. Now as I mentioned was doing research for a novel I want to write and the crux of it is it is going to be a crossover between most popular religions and some not so popular throughout the ages of myths and mythologies in a effort to safe creation from a big bad.

Now the majority of western societies grew up Christian and eventually down the line, free will and all, choose their own path – be it Paganism, Heathen (Nordic), Wiccan, Kemetic, Celtic, Shamanism, Luciferian, Satanism, Roman, Greco, Buddist and so forth. So considering as the most people know and at some point followed the Christian path, Christianity will play a rather biggish role in the whole story – the myths and mythologies of the path integrated into other paths, kind of a ambitious thing but yeah.

So since Christianity going to be playing a big part, since it is one of the major religions of the 21^st century, I thought it wise to brush up on the mythology and the Christian big bad (not the big bad of my story mind you but for contextual reasons, the big bad in Christianity will make a very different role much later on in my story).

So while properly looking at scripture etc., (not sermons or second hand info from Sunday school teachers and fables ),  I made a rather surprising discoveries, a lot of what we have learned and come to understand considering the Christian big bad is basically all made up and yes I know most atheists are gonna say but isn’t all religions basically all made up, ok fair enough but the point is what we understand as the big bad of Christianity is not really what is written in the… lets face it, the only real reference book so let me try explain my interpretations of what my research uncovered –

There are 4 major ‘bad guys’ or only one with different names, depending on how you perceive it, actually referenced in the 21^st century King James version of the Christian bible.

Listed in order of appearance :

1. Devil / s = 106 references ( 4 Old Test. , 102 New Test. )
2. Satan = 50 references ( 16 Old Test. , 34 New Test. )
3. Beelzebub = 7 references ( 7 New Test. )
4. Lucifer = 1 reference ( Old Test.)

Now lets start at the top and work our way down

The Devil / s

The devil/s in context are primarily ‘unclean’ spirits that possessed people or influenced them and needed to be driven out. The ‘exorcisms’ were preformed by either Christ or his apostles. The term devil or devils does not refer to any one entity at any point but rather a collective of ‘unclean’ spirits taking possession of individuals and/or influencing them to ‘sin’. Now what exactly are the symptoms of being possessed is not really clear, but we can assume that if the mentality of the people during that age were similar to the mentality of the people during the middle ages it could had been anything from allergies, epilepsy, schizophrenia, psychopathy and a long list of disorders we can kinda understand today and not necessarily being possessed  by ‘unclean’ spirits. Now I have seen a lot of horror movies and such, and well a lot claim to be based on actual events, so I am not that naive to dismiss the whole possession phenomena just off the bat, all I am saying is it is VERY likely that 90% of the causes where the devil/s were driven out was not really a case of possessions.

So then the question that begs to be answered is if there is no one entity, no real description of what these ‘unclean spirits‘ look like how did we get the whole image of a guy in a red outfit, striking goatee, pitchfork and horns ?

Anyway on to the next culprit ….

Satan

Now as most people don’t realize is that 99.9% of angels in the service of Elohim’s (Christian God), service name ends with EL, meaning of god. Examples of these are – Gabriel, Michael, Raphael, Uriel and so on, (Metatron does not end in a EL as myth has it he was originally the prophet Enoch and was taken to heaven by Elohim and transformed into a angel to serve as his scribe, so not born or created angel but a mortal transformed). Now a little known fact is that the is/was a angel named Sataniel in service of Elohim. So basically the name  Sataniel means “God’s accuser”, but does not distract from the fact that by name he/she/it is a angel in service of Elohim.

Now Sataniel became Satan to distance his duties from Elohim’s benevolence but to consider Satan as a fallen angel and a outcast, as most of us have been taught, would be kinda ignorant. The main reason for my opinion on this is with reference to the book of Job where the majority of references to Satan in the old testament come from).

Now this is what rattled me a little, and correct me if I am wrong but, we were taught to believe that Satan and Lucifer were the same person, and due to Lucifer’s rebellion in heaven was cast out and imprisoned in hell. Basically heaven’s number one most wanted, most evil entity, the baddest of them all. Unclean, evil, dark, twisted and not worthy to be in Elohim’s presence and hated and hunted by all other angels especially Michael, or so I believed until I read the book of Job.

In the book of Job, Job is put through several trails and tribulations in order to prove or disprove his unwavering faith in Elohim.

What struck me was the following –

Job 1:6

Now there was a day when the sons of God came to present themselves before the Lord, and Satan also came among them.

Job 1:7

And the Lord said unto Satan, “From whence comest thou?” Then Satan answered the Lord and said, “From going to and fro on the earth, and from walking up and down upon it.”

Now to me that would appear that the angels came before Elohim and gave him a status report on their activities on earth and among them was good ole’ Satan himself, in the presence of Elohim, before his throne in the highest of heavens and surrounded by angels, giving his boss his progress report.

So to further rattle the cage, Elohim basically tells Satan that Job is unwavering in his faith and a true zealot, where as Satan then replies the only reason Job comes across as so unwavering is because he has never suffered. He is healthy, he has many sheep and he is prosperous and happy. He has never been given a reason to waver because all Elohim has done is bestow countless blessings on him and his kin. So obviously he is a unwavering zealot because he has everything he wants, now take all that away from him, make him suffer and then see for yourself just how unwavering he really is.

That does sound like something a bad guy would say doesn’t it, but here comes the catch, Elohim agrees that Satan must go forth and take all that away from Job and make Job suffer, but not to take his life, and then Satan will see for himself how unwavering Job really is. And Satan goes forth and does as instructed.

Now again, heaven’s number one most wanted, most evil entity the baddest of them all, reporting to Elohim in his throne room, surrounded by angels, having a pow wow with the big guy himself and basically making a bet with him that he can break Job and then being called on it and sent to go ahead and do it by his BOSS ….

That to me does not really appear that he was outcast, unwanted, hunted, hated or imprisoned but merely another angelic employee doing his job within his job description.  Now what exactly is his job description then you might ask, well looking at this it would be rather obvious. He is basically likened to the Nordic version of Loki ( God of Mischief ), his main job is to test humanities morals, ethics and faith. We were blessed with free will and we are free to choose either left or right, light or dark, good or bad. We know the difference and we understand there are consequences to these choices we make. So Satan’s job is to lead us into temptation and see whether or not we are strong enough in our convictions to turn away from him or to falter, BUT he is doing so under instruction from upper management, not because he is ‘evil’ but because that his job.

His job is  to test you through trails, tribulation, temptation, suffering etc in order for you to be stronger and  overcome adversities. Kinda gives you a new perspective on the guy doesn’t it.  And also might rattle the whole Satanist path a little too.

I had a discussion about this with a Christian I work with and although he was quick to say ohhh but its open to interpretation and since I am a pagan I see it in a very wrong way, he continued to bring up the whole Adam and Eve and the serpent story saying  –

• The Serpent aka Satan tempted Eve and made her sin by eating the apple.
• Ok, did the serpent hold Eve down and force the apple down her throat ?
• No… but he lied to her and convinced her to eat it.
• Ok, did Elohim not tell her and Adam that eating the apple was bad ? So then if they knew it was bad then she choose out of her own free will to believe the serpent and eat the apple, how exactly did he force her ?
• No, but see Elohim told Adam it’s bad, but he never told Eve, so the serpent used her ignorance and tricked her.
• Ahhh not how I remember the story but ok, so Eve was ignorant and didn’t know it was not allowed and was tricked by the serpent…. But then why did Adam eat it ? He knew it was bad, he was told it was forbidden and yet when Eve tempted him he ate it, so then he choose out of his own free will to eat the apple knowing it was a bad thing. But then how is it the serpent’s fault if both were given a choice, eat or don’t eat and they out of their own, choose to eat it and disobey ?

He then looked at me somewhat confused, kept quiet and walked away.

In all of scripture Satan has not once physically killed anyone, yes he has tempted them, lead them astray and well cause a lot of shit along the way but … it all comes down to free will and well him doing his job. So Sataniel gets a bad rap but he should be getting employee of the millennium reward, cause lets face it, we humans are so easy to tempt and be lead astray, so he is doing a very excellent job in service of Elohim.

So now on to number 3 on the top 4 bad guys in the bible

Beelzebub

Now references to him are limited to the new testament and mostly used by Christ, his apostles in connection to them driving out the unclean spirits mentioned in point one.  Basically Christ and his apostles are accused of driving these unclean spirits out, not in the name of Elohim but rather in name of Beelzebub, and obviously Christ and his apostles counter that by saying how can we use the devil to drive out devils, which is a valid argument.

So who is this guy actually ?

“Beelzebub or Beelzebul is a name derived from a Philistine god, formerly worshipped in Ekron, and later adopted by some Abrahamic religions as a given name to a major demon. The name Beelzebub is associated with the Canaanite god Baal. In theological sources,  predominately Christian, Beelzebub is sometimes another name for the Devil, similar to Satan. He is known in demonology as one of the seven princes of Hell.

In one understanding, Ba‘al Zəbûb is translated literally as “lord of the flies”. It was long ago suggested that there was a relationship between the Philistine god, and cults of flies – referring to a view of them as pests, feasting on excrement – appearing in the Hellenic world, such as Zeus Apomyios or Myiagros. This is confirmed by the Ugaritic text when we examine how Baal affects the expulsion of the flies which are the patient’s sickness. According to Francesco Saracino (1982) this series of elements may be inconclusive as evidence, but the fact that in relationship to Baal Zebub, the two constituent terms are here linked, joined by a function (ndy) that is typical of some divinities attested in the Mediterranean world, is a strong argument in favor of the authenticity of the name of the god of Ekron, and of his possible therapeutic activities, which are implicit in 2 Kings 1:2-3, etc.

Alternatively, the deity’s actual name was Ba‘al Zəbûl, “lord of the (heavenly) dwelling”, and Ba’al Zebub was a derogatory pun used by the Israelites. In regard to the god of Ekron, the belief that zebub may be the original affix to Baal and that it is a substitute for an original zbl which, after the discoveries of Ras Shamra, has been connected with the title of “prince”, frequently attributed to Baal in mythological texts. Ba’al Zebub was used in Hebrew as a pun with Ba’al Zebul, where Zebul meant “of the manor,” and in a derogatory manner Ba’al Zebub was used to offend the enemies of the Israelites. However, this understanding is not supported by the versions.”

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Beelzebub

So in short a pagan god worshiped by the Canaanites’ and Philistines that was villianised, twisted and turned into a Demon price / devil by the early Christians. Basically what the catholic church did with the pagan religious’ deities. And used as a pun or a insult. So with them saying that Christ and his apostles used Beelzebub to drive out devils they were basically making fun of them and calling them fakes and wannabes and not really referring to them using his power.  So yet again another big bad that wasn’t really all that bad ….

hmmmmmmm

Well we got one more left and he has to be it, the big bad, the most evil of evil, Lucifer himself…

( pause for dramatic ominous music )

Number 4 on the list

Lucifer

Ok, now we all know the story …
Elohim’s first angel, his most beloved son refusing to bow down to humans and causing a rebellion in heaven and being cast out with his followers, a 3rd of heavens angels and well causing chaos and mayhem where ever he goes. Surely the bible has a lot to say about this disappointing favorite creation of Elohim, I mean the betrayal, the anarchy, the legend that is Lucifer.

Isaiah 14:12

“How art thou fallen from heaven, O Lucifer, son of the morning! How art thou cut down to the ground, who didst weaken the nations!

Thats it, that is the only reference to Lucifer in the entire scripture…
yes, I was like WTF myself but there you have it …

Now here is the glitch, the bible as we know it was originally written in Aramaic, then translated into Hebrew, then again into Greek and lastly into Latin. And all other translations from thereon in including what we use today is a translation from the Greek or the Latin translations of the original, dating back ohhh about 1800 yrs give or take. Now with modern technology and the discovery of the Deadsea scrolls we are now able to translate the original scripture into English or what ever language we choose bypassing the Greek and Latin ones. Awesome isn’t it, well not so much really because that causes a rather big wrinkle in the whole Lucifer myth and in the Luciferian path.

Why ?

The book of Isaiah describes a Babylonian king who was in conflict with the Israelites and basically thought of himself as a god due to his conquests and accumulated power and Isaiah basically giving him a verbal beat down after he fell from power.

Now Lucifer is a word in Latin meaning  “Morning star”. Same as we would say a bunch of cattle together is a herd, or a piece of paper is a sheet of paper etc. So with the discover of the Dead sea scrolls and translating them directly from Aramaic to English that verse is a lot different that the one translated from the latin translations.

“How art thou fallen from heaven, O Morning star, son of the morning! How art thou cut down to the ground, who didst weaken the nations!

In context it does make a whole hell of a lot of sense that Isaiah is referring to the ‘god’ king of Babylon and not a fallen angel.

And there goes the one and only reference to Lucifer, the fallen angel….so looking at that Lucifer never even existed, and the entire myth or story of him is a lie.

So where in the hell did the myth come from ??

Well the only solid conclusion is that the latin priest all celibate and eager to get ‘mediation’ time in his lil room cut a couple corners to hasten his translation.

That and the verses in revelations (which is supposed to be a view of what is to come i.e. the future ,not what has been ) in reference to the red dragon with Seven heads, 10 horns and 7 crowns, where he swept away a third of heavens stars ( angles maybe ? )  and waged war against heaven and it’s angels. Now the dragon comes after a woman about to give birth to a child who will rule the world in the name of Elohim. The Dragon hopes to devour the woman before the child is born but is too late, the woman is take away and hidden in the wilderness and the child is kept in the bosom of Elohim. The dragon then outraged casts out a 3^rd of heavens starts and well fights against Michael and the other angels before he is cast out. After seeing he has been thrown out of heaven he blames the woman and goes after her but is stopped and the woman is whisked away to safety.

Now that story in conjunction with the mistranslated verse from our little latin priest seems to have given birth to a entirely new entity which is only referenced in that one verse, not mentioned in the Torah or anywhere else and so the myth of the rebellious child, the anarchist not only disobeying his father but basically causing a all out war in heaven was born.

But seeing as revelation is visions of the future and of what is yet to come and not of the past, then if the dragon is Lucifer, the fall of Lucifer, his taking a 3^rd of heavens contingent of angels and well everything else linked to Lucifer has not yet happened and if not then the dragon is something completely different and untouched in the Christian myths save for references to menacing beasts and spirits.

Now some people you might have heard of but no mention of them in the bible is Samael and Lilith which have brief mentions in the Hebrew Torah but none in the Christian Bible.

Bonus mention –

1. Dragons = Devil / s = 34 references ( 22 Old Test. , 12 New Test. )

See point one ( unclean evil spirits causing mayhem )

 

So basically the entire concept of “the devil made me do it” and the entire Christian concept of evil and the big bad boils down to this –

Devil/s or Dragons – being unclean spirits possessing people and causing them to act outside the set parameters of what is acceptable by society and thereby afflicting them and requires that the spirits be cleansed and driven out.

Satan aka Sataniel aka employee of the millennium – a angel in the service of heaven whose job it is, is to test humanities faith, morals and ethics through trails, tribulations and temptation in a hopes that they may become overcome said obstacles and become stronger. A diligent employee of Elohim.

Beelzebub – Which a a villanised pagan god of ye old Palestine and Canaan. Used a derogatory insult by jews during the time of Christ.

Lucifer – Which according to his one and only mistranslated reference…. Never existed.

So where does that leave us …
if there is no evil entity is the world and there is no big bad … then …

You want the big bad, the evil in the world, the twisted and worse of the worse there take a look and see.

*holds up mirror*

Shocking right, ok well not really you specifically unless you’re a serial killer reading this but hey no judgey, the biggest baddest evil exists in all of us. Yip it’s the whole thing ole Satan is trying to teach us to resist and that is temptation. All thanks to the powers that be, we have the freedom to choose right or wrong and in the end there is no one or nothing to blame for the consequences but ourselves. But it’s so much easier to blame a guy in a red suit with a striking goatee and a pitchfork that is actively trying to force you to do bad things…isn’t it. Easier to blame some imaginary entity than to accept you fucked up and need to fix the shit you caused.

So basically don’t be a asshole. You know the difference between right and wrong so don’t screw it up and don’t hurt people just for shits and giggles. Try your best to be good to your fellow man, when it is deserved stop blaming the devil, Satan, Lucifer or any other things for your mess.

Well I hope that this has helped clarify certain things and next time we wanna blame Satan, why not just say hey dude, thank you for making me what I am today, without all the shit I have been through I would not be the person I am, so thanks bro.

Written By D.Kay

References as per 21^st century King James version of the Christian Bible.

References to the devil / s

21^st century King James version =  106

Old Testament (4)

1. Leviticus (1)
2. Deuteronomy (1)
3. 2 Chronicles (1)
4. Psalm (1)

New Testament (102)

1. Matthew (23)
2. Mark (16)
3. Luke (28)
4. John (9)
5. Acts (2)
6. 1 Corinthians (2)
7. Ephesians (2)
8. 1 Timothy (3)
9. 2 Timothy (1)
10. Hebrews (1)
11. James (3)
12. 1 Peter (1)
13. 1 John (2)
14. Jude (1)
15. Revelation (8)

References to Satan

21^st century King James version =  50

Old Testament (16)

1. 2 Samuel (1)
2. 1 Chronicles (1)
3. Job (11)
4. Psalm (1)
5. Zechariah (2)

New Testament (34)

1. Matthew (3)
2. Mark (5)
3. Luke (6)
4. John (1)
5. Acts (2)
6. Romans (1)
7. 1 Corinthians (2)
8. 2 Corinthians (3)
9. 1 Thessalonians (1)
10. 2 Thessalonians (1)
11. 1 Timothy (2)
12. Revelation (7)

References to Beelzebub

21^st century King James version =  7

New Testament (7)

1. Matthew (3)
2. Mark (1)
3. Luke (3)

References to Lucifer

21^st century King James version =  1

Old Testament (1)

1. Isaiah (1)

Bonus mention – References to Dragons

21^st century King James version =  34

Old Testament (22)

1. Deuteronomy (1)

1. Nehemiah (1)
2. Job (1)
3. Psalm (4)
4. Isaiah (6)
5. Jeremiah (6)
6. Ezekiel (1)
7. Micah (1)
8. Malachi (1)

New Testament (12)

1. Revelation (12)

 

 

alive

Written – 2016

So… People say it’s good to talk about stuff so well here goes…

6 years ago today I was staying in ICU under the watchful eyes of the nurses, 24 hours. I was hooked up to monitors n beeping and a tube sticking out each arm Courtesy being woken up at 3am with the nurses drawing blood from between my toes. I insisted on going to the bathroom under my own volition, not one for urinating in a bottle much. And going to the bathroom, nurse in tow, I gazed in the mirror and looked like a extra on the Simpsons. Stitches on my wrists and on my chest. Now how did I get here you might wonder, well… 3 days prior sort of everything shifted in My little world. My wife away for the weekend with the ends to visit her mother decided that she no longer wanted to be my wife and wouldn’t be coming home again. Alone and broken I slipped off the edge and decided that since I had lost my wife, kids, home and everything else that nothing really mattered anymore. I sat quietly on my computer and typed out a 2 page note. Apologizing to my family for my weakness and attempting to reassure my children that it was not their fault and that no matter what happened i loved them and would always be with them, at least in spirit. I then printed out a page and taped it to the front door, asking that if my wife does come home to collect her stuff to not bring the kids into the house as i did not want to cause unnecessary trauma.

I then proceeded to methodically collect ever item of medication in the house. Pain meds, allergy meds, sleeping aids, pediatric meds, muscle relaxants, flu medicine, couch mixtures etc. The bottles and boxes packed out across the kitchen counter. I took a deep breath and proceed to ingest all of it. Chasing the pills down with the couch mixtures. Until every empty container filled up 2 standard plastic shopping bags. All neatly cleaned up and on the kitchen counter. I then went to the bedroom, got dressed in the best clothes i owned and got into bed. My disillusioned image that i would drift off into a deep sleep and painlessly just drift off into the void. I was sadly mistaken. I awoke several times, crawling and stumbling to bathroom and violently French kissing the toilet as my body obviously was trying to get rid of the poisons i ingested, not that it helped much. I found my way back to the bed and awoke again with the sun shining into my bedroom. Drugged out my mind and pissed off because I was still here, My mind raced thinking, ‘what now?’. Then the old fashioned messy option popped into mind. I got out of bed stumbled and crawling down the hall into the lounge. Propping myself on my couch i took my athame form its display case on the wall.

‘This will do’, i thought to myself. I found my to the bedroom. I took my clothes off, not wanting to mess up my best clothes and proceeded to the bathroom in my boxers. I lay myself down in the cold ceramic bath. Took a deep breathe. ‘3 ribs down…bout 6 cm from breast bone… Deep breathe, will be quick…’ I held the athame in both my hands took a deep breathe tried making sure my aim is true. Hands shaking…due to fear or the poisons, taking a deep breathe and closing my eyes, i thrust the dagger into hard into my chest. Think ok… Erm…i am still here i slowly opened my eyes and looked down at my chest. The dagger about 15 cm deep into my chest with the hilt sticking out. ‘Are you fucking joking me ?’, i thought to myself. Taking hold of the hilt again i tried to pushing it deeper. ‘Ok that fucking hurts… Not a good idea’. Slowly pulling the dagger from my chest watching the blood run from the wound sitting there thinking to myself, ‘now what?’ Looking at my wrists thought to myself, ‘aw well not the best option but all i have left’. Not really the sharpest knife i own, thought it be more symbolic using the athame, i proceed, very out of my head on pills, hacking at my wrists. Left one bled but not enough to my thoughts i then proceed with right side. Hacking away i hit a artery, the blood squirting from my wrist across the bath. ‘Much better’, i thought. Dropping the athame, weak and tired i closed my eyes. I lay there. Drifting into the void. My mind clear of all thoughts, all worries, all cares. Nothing. A feeling of complete nothingness. I miss that feeling to be honest.

I drifted from consciousness. I am not sure how long i lay there but a loud crash of glass filled my silent nothingness. Too weak to open my eyes for long periods i could hear some of what was happening. Voices i didn’t recognize filled the bathroom. Then my father’s voice pleading that i fight. I fought open my eyes but only managed them a fraction and saw the silhouette of what i recognized as my father. I closed my eyes again and got lost in the void. I felt hands lifting from the bath and then gone again. Back again being laid down on the lounge tiled floor. To weak to open my eyes i lay there… Hearing them, feeling the cold envelope my body. I started shivering as the cold crept into my very core. Feeling needles being stuck into my arms, bandages wrapped around my wrists. Then i was gone again.

I awoke briefly in the ambulance hearing the beep of the heart monitor and the a monotonous tone. Into the void i go standing toe to toe with lady death herself. Looking her into the eyes i say, ‘ today is a good day to die’. Death staring me in the eyes starts laughing profusely then stops abruptly and says in her every seducing voice, ‘ not today’. She shoves me back into the world i was so desperately trying to escape. I woke briefly managing to open my eyes for a second, the beeping on the monitor filling my ears, i see the face of a very relieved paramedic and then gone again. Woke laying on a metal table.

Familiar voices filling my ears. Weak. Tired. Sore. I literally use what little energy i had left to open my eyes for a moment. I glance my mother, father and grandmother weeping telling me to fight. My eyes close. I lay there naked on cold metal table. Aware but too weak to move, speak or even open my eyes. I hear the mumbled whispers of a man speaking to my family then silence. Then i feel pain. Piercing pain. As the hook like needle pierces my flesh and stitches my thread through my skin. I feel every stitch. Chest first then right wrist then left. To weak to move, to weak to speak or utter a word, to weak to open my eyes. I lay there silently enduring the pain as the coursing through me. I am alive. I awake again on the icu bed. Monitors blaring. Nurse glancing at me then at monitors and then her charts. Tubes coming out my arms. And there i lay for 4 days. Doctors telling me i am most likely to die due to liver failure since no transplant would be given to a suicide. I lay there alive. And released from hospital 4 days later. No permanent damage to liver.

My scars bare as reminder of my moment of despair. 6 yrs on and i am still wondering why i am still here as I am sure many out there so. Left alone in this world not to feel happiness or love as of yet, but still hoping. It’s been 6 yrs and facing down death that certain sides of me awakened, which I am still learning about. Still trying to grasp and understand what it means to be alive, struggling daily not to slip into that dark place once more.

Over the years many friends have come and gone. Heart has been broken a couple more times. And times came where I was hanging on by My fingernails, not to slip again. It’s been hard and tedious journey, but no one said this was going to be easy did they. Some close friends have remained reminding me that I am not alone and there is a reason to keep going forward, no matter how pointless it seems. I have seen My kids grow which I am thankful for.

So what is the point of this sad sordid story, well selfishly to get this off my chest, not for sympathy but for people out there to know and see that they are not alone and that taking the easy way out is never really the answer. At the time one may think you would be doing the world and those around you a courtesy but it’s not the case. Logically think of the butterfly effect, one small action now could have dire effects later on, your friends, family, children all effected by one selfish act. The people not yet met, meant to cross your path for a reason, now never will. Lots to think about so let this be a warning rather than a sad story. Your life matters, maybe not to you but to many people out there is does.

Looking for reasons

 

So I know I should be writing my epic novel… yes procrastination and lack of motivation, a writer whose stuff doesn’t get read is like a tree falling in a forest, does anyone care …

But I regress, I have recently been thinking , scary as that might be, about something I came across twice now. The first was, if I recollect correctly, a post somewhere on Facebook, and then again yesterday while rewatching the X-files original series, season 4, episode 5 – The field where I died.

Now the grounds of the concept is one that has be debated over time and argued repeatedly and is very controversial and the basis stands in reincarnation. We are continuously reborn into this world, life after life. Our spirit, soul, life force, energy – what ever you want to call it – returning over and over in a nearly endless cycle to be reborn onto this world to savior the experiences and to learn.

Now if you take what the Buddhists have to say on the subject, is that your rebirth and the form of your host or meat suit is dependant on your karmic balance. Cosmic capitalism at work. If your karmic credit rating is in the green, and you were a generally good person in your last life your get to come back as a human or something of high spiritual value, if you are in the red well then you would come back as a worm, rat or something to it’s equivalent or suffer very bad karmic backlash in human form, until the account is settled.

Seems rather ominous I feel, I mean who decides what’s good or bad, what’s the credit limit, what the interest rates are on the repayment. What are the T’s and C’s, and where did I sign up for that ?

I mean you paying off a debt you are not consciously aware off and well life is screwing you over … why ? I am cursed? Do I have seriously bad luck ? Was I Hitler in a past life ? Now those kinda questions have bugged majorly looking at the shit I have had to go through in my current life and seems more up hills than down hills trying to figure out, fuck I must have been a horrible person in a past life.

So this is why this concept from the X-files and from the Facebook post, both fascinated me and slightly horrified me at the same time. So we get reincarnated, cool, one life after the other, but this is where it gets interesting. Your soul ( let’s call them souls for now), is a conscience intelligent being/force. And when the currently body expires the soul ascends to a void, from this void the soul decides and plans out the next life ( freaky no ? ), with the purpose of growth, learning and ascendance to a higher state. The people that are closest to you – friends, family, lovers, ex lovers, enemies – are also intertwined into this life, in different roles but paths will cross and connections will be reestablished, regardless of the situations.

Now, think for a moment and take a third person perspective of your life up to this point. All the trails and tribulations. All the heart break and pain. All hardships and joys. Every single experience you have had up to this second, up to you reading this – was all mapped and planned out by yourself, your soul, in order to learn and grow into something better. Lets just let that soak in for just a moment and look back onto your life again.
We might not fully comprehend the big picture and maybe we are not supposed to, but according to this theory, there is one. So every life, every experience ( no matter if it hurts like a son of a bitch, or bursting with joy and pride ), every single thing is done with a specific purpose and point, leading to the end result. So nothing is pointless or meaningless or useless.

Think of it as a huge RPG game. Your higher self the player, plotting out his’s/her’s character traits, skills, background etc. and sending them out into the vast open world. The battles you win or loose, the monsters you slay the injuries you get, the skills you learn along your way in the adventure all designed, controlled and calculated by the player to up your XP and get you to the end of the game. Each character with their own preset missions and goals to get them there.

It is somewhat reassuring and scary at the same time, the whole concept of fate and destiny, all layed out by your higher self and the universe to achieve a specific goal. And in some cases it would seem that your higher self is rather masochistic looking at everything that has happened up to this point, but guess what? You are here and gotten through it all… Maybe they know something we don’t huh, maybe just maybe next time you sitting alone in the dark and thinking all this is pointless and why me… a lil flicker will pop up and well everything although dark and bleak, and hurting so much, maybe for a moment it wont seem so … pointless.

All assuming that this theory is sorta valid, and that your higher self is good at planning shit, and assuming the die aren’t loaded and the universe actually doesn’t want to screw us all and actually gives a rat’s ass about what happens to us all… all this right here, right now … all has a reason to it.

I thought it was a interesting theory and figured I might share my perspective with you, the reader… rather pointless I know but hey, maybe this was part of the plan , lol
Hope you enjoyed this piece and maybe for a moment helped you think and put things into a lil perspective.

You have meaning, this life has a reason…

There is reason to the madness, the chaos, the pain, the joy.
You have a reason.

Never doubt yourself

D. Kay

*pardon any spelling or grammar errors – brain fart and wrote in in like a hour while doing work in between so *